


Hastilude

by tryceratops



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:59:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryceratops/pseuds/tryceratops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sif is determined to prove her affection to Darcy the only way she really knows how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Fair Lady

“Lady Jane.”

Jane stopped short and turned around to see who called her, though she really already knew. Only one woman called her that.

“Sif. Hi. How are you?”

“I am well, thank you, though I admit I require advice.”

“From me?”

“I believe you are the best person to ask.”

“Well, okay… Shoot.”

“I was informed that one should ask a close companion for advice on courtship, so tell me, if… I were to wish to court the lady Darcy, how would you recommend I do so? Do you believe she would be receptive?”

“Darcy?”

Sif nodded solemnly.

“You want to go out with Darcy?”

“Is that strange?”

“Well, I don’t know how it is where you’re from, but here….. some people would think it strange, yeah. But I think it’s great! I know she’s dated girls before, so I think… yeah, she’d probably be open to it.”

Sif smiled. “Excellent. What would you suggest I do to win her over?”

“Darcy?” Jane paused for a moment, thoughtful. “Darcy….. I think she’s dated a lot of duds lately, guys who weren’t willing to do anything to show they cared. She’ll never admit it, but I think she totally loves cheesy romantic stuff. Classics, clichés, that kind of stuff.”

“I am afraid I am unaware of any Midgardian romantic clichés.”

“Honestly I think if you were to do something Asgardian-romantic, she’d be totally into that too. Fight on her behalf in a tournament or whatever you’d to.” Jane grinned, “But for here…. Make a mix-tape, go to the fair and win her a giant teddy bear, take her out of town at night to watch the stars with a picnic. That sort of stuff.”

Sif nodded seriously. “Winning something for her, that would be a rather universal gesture.” She smiled. “Where does one find a fair on Midgard?”

“There’s one down on Coney Island… You could ask her to spend the day there with you.”

Sif nodded once again. “This sounds like sound advice, I thank you, Lady Jane.”

* * *

 

A week and a half later, Darcy had agreed to a date at Coney Island with Sif (much to everyone’s surprise, and Jane’s smug satisfaction), though when asked why by Clint, Darcy had just rolled her eyes at him as if it should be obvious. “Have you _seen_ that woman? Who wouldn’t go on a date with her?”

Sif and Darcy met early in the morning at the fairground, and Sif promptly declared her desire to win a contest for Darcy. Sif was wearing a loose red dress with leggings, the earth clothing that she found most closely resembled her Asgardian fare, her hair in a high ponytail, and a satchel slung over one shoulder, containing her money and other props for the day. Darcy was in ripped skinny jeans and a leather jacket, her glasses a bit dirty as always, her hair also in a ponytail.

“If I am to win a contest on your behalf, however, I do require a favour from you.”

“Name it.” Darcy grinned.

“No, a favour. An object of yours, a token of your… affection. It is tradition to wear a lady’s favour into battle when you fight for her.”

“Wow, that’s some Henry VIII shit right there.” Darcy laughed.

“Who?”

“Dude who killed like all his wives or some shit. He loved jousting and stuff. Favours were a big deal in court, around that time.”

“Well, I assure you I have no intention of causing you any harm.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” She grinned. “So, what kind of favour do I give you?”

“Traditionally a lady would provide a ribbon, a handkerchief, something of that nature that could be tucked into the armor next to the heart.”

“Well, I’m fresh out of ribbons and handkerchiefs….” She frowned and peered into her purse, looking for a suitable replacement. Then she cackled and reached in. “How about a scrunchie.”

“What is a scrunchie?”

Darcy pulled a blue and white polka-dotted scrunchie from her bag and held it out to Sif. “You use it to pull your hair back.”

Sif examined the scrunchie and nodded. “This will do very well as a favour. I shall wear it in my hair, as I have no armor.”

Darcy grinned and nodded and offered the scrunchie to Sif. “It is all yours, m’lady.”

Sif smiled. “You should put it in.”

Darcy nodded and hopped around behind Sif and carefully pulled her ponytail through the scrunchie until it was suitably tight. “There, now everyone will know you’re on a date with someone with a rad fashion sense.”

“Perfect. Now it is time to win you a prize, my lady.”

Darcy bit back a giggle. “Oh man, if my mom knew I was getting the “lady” treatment.”

“Would she object?”

“She’d object to you calling me lady, because she doesn’t think it fits.” She snorted and laughed some more. “When I was younger she wanted me to be a debutante—that’s like a girl who dresses up in floofy dresses and studies etiquette and has a coming out party and knows how to dance and act gracefully or whatever. She got a different kind of coming out from me when I was sixteen though, and that made her back off. I shattered her dreams of having a perfect lady daughter married to a perfect gentleman son-in-law.”

“Yet you still date men.”

Darcy shrugged. “I’m into both. I find I click better with women, though I also find that dating pool pretty small. Easier to find guys and such. But I think she heard “bi” and her mind just went to the worst-case-scenario, which, to her, would be not getting her son-in-law. She has four daughters, and she is very eager for us to bring some boys into the family.”

“I see. That must be difficult, knowing your mother is afraid of who you may love.”

Darcy shrugged. “I’m over it. I think she’s accepted it. I’ve brought a couple girlfriends over for Thanksgiving or whatever before, and she’s been civil. She still has three more chances for sons-in-law. After the initial shock wore off, I think she just wants to see me happy.”

Sif nodded again. “That should be every parent’s wish for their children.”

“Plus, when I tell her a bagged a goddess, she’ll have to be at least a little impressed by that.” She grinned at Sif.

“Well, I have spent my whole life proving to others that I can be better than a man, the task is nothing new to me.”

“You’re preparing to meet my mom already?”

“Is that strange?”

“Usually meeting the parents is a pretty big step. Not something you do lightly.”

“Well, we shall wait and see how well I can defend your honour in these challenges today, first.”

Darcy laughed. “Okay.”

* * *

 

By the end of the day, Darcy was hauling around a stuffed rabbit that was almost as big as her, while Sif carried a large plastic bag full of the smaller stuffed toys she had won for Darcy.  

“It would appear that your scrunchie was helpful after all.”

“Never underestimate the power of scrunchies.” Darcy grinned at Sif.

“I shall remember that.” She reached up to remove the scrunchie from her hair, but Darcy shook her head at her. “Don’t, keep it.” She smiled. “It looks good on you.”

Sif smiled back and nodded. “I shall remember you whenever I wear it.”

“I’m flattered.” She was blushing slightly. “And seriously, thanks for the rabbit.” She squeezed it. “I’ve always wanted one of these things.” She grinned. “I will name him Winston.”

“Winston?”

“Doesn’t he look like a Winston to you?”

“I have never met a Winston before.”

“Well, now you have.” Darcy maneuvered Winston so that she was holding his right arm, and offered his right “hand” to Sif. “Nice to meet you, Sif!” She put on a cartoon-y voice for it.

Sif looked a bit confused, but eventually reached out and took Winston’s hand and shook it.

“See, that’s what a Winston looks like.”

“I see.” Sif didn’t see. She looked rather confused. Darcy just laughed.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s totally a Winston.”

“If you say so, it must be so.”

Darcy grinned. “You really do know how to treat a lady.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Oh, so you do this with all the girls you take out, huh?”

“I must confess, this is very new to me.” She gestured to Winston and then around at the whole scene around them.

“Earth dating?”

“I suppose that is an accurate term for it.”

Darcy grinned at her. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you through it. If you want a second date, that is…”

Sif smiled, reached down and took Darcy’s hand that wasn’t holding Winston and pressed her lips to it. “I would be flattered if you would consider it.”

Darcy’s grin grew and she dropped into an awkward half-curtsey in response.  “I would love it.”


	2. Hair (The Ties That Bind)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets frustrated with her token of affection.

It was three weeks and two more dates later when Sif once again approached Darcy about a favor.

Darcy was on the way home from her favourite coffee shop when Sif found her

“Lady Darcy!” She called out as she spotted Darcy’s figure about thirty feet ahead of her. Despite her headphones, Darcy heard her name called out, and stopped, pulling her earbuds out of her ears and turning around and peering about until she caught sight of Sif. She waved back and waited for Sif to catch up.

Sif jogged towards her, in usual earth-clothes, which she had grown more and more comfortable with over the past few weeks with Darcy’s shopping help and fashion advice. She looked like she fit right in, though she still walked in a manner that made it clear she knew how to kill you with one hand tied behind her back.

When Sif reached Darcy, she leaned down to kiss Darcy on the cheek. “Hello.”

Darcy blushed slightly, still not totally comfortable with gay public displays of affection, but didn’t pull away. “Hi.”

“I have a request.”

“Oh yeah? Go for it”

“There is to be a tournament  in three days. I would like a proper favor from you to wear into it.”

“What, my scrunchie not cutting it?” Darcy teased.

“The scrunchie would be wonderful, but  it would not be recognized as a favor by the others in the contest. I wouldn’t dare let anyone think I was anything but proud of my feelings for you.”

“Uh, okay. What counts as a proper favor?”

“A ribbon, a piece of lace, or a handkerchief are the most common forms.”

“And what do I do if I don’t have any of those.”

“Buy one, wear it for the next three days, and on the day of the tournament I will return to request it from you.”

Darcy nodded. “Okay. Got it.”

Sif nodded back, took Darcy’s hand, and kissed it, before turning away. “Until then, my lady.”

* * *

 

Darcy hurried home after that and called Jane as soon as she was inside, while she was still kicking her boots off.

“Jaaaaane.” She whined once Jane answered the phone. “Where the fuck do you buy a ribbon in this city?”

“A what?”

“A ribbon. For your hair. Anne Boleyn style?”

Jane laughed. “You finally got asked for a favor?”

“Yes! Where do I get one?”

“Just go to a fabric store or a craft store or something. They should have lots of ribbon there.”

“Fabric store, right.” Darcy frowned. “What are you giving for your favor?”

“I have a proper handkerchief.”

“Where the fuck did you get that?”

“Thor gave it to me.”

“Wait, he gave you the favor that you’re giving to him? Is that even allowed?”

Jane just laughed. “It must be, because we’re doing it.”

Darcy sighed. “Right. Well, I guess I’m off to the fabric store.”

“For your lady.” Jane reminded.

Darcy couldn’t help but grin. “Yes. For my lady.”

“See you tomorrow.” Jane said before cutting the call off. Darcy pulled her phone away from her ear and sighed again.

“Where the fuck do I find a fabric store?”

* * *

 

The next day at work, Darcy was dressed as usual, in her skinny jeans, baggy sweater, scarf, and glasses, with the notable addition of a one-inch wide red ribbon tied around her hair, holding it back from her face. Jane kindly did not comment on (given that she felt a bit ridiculous wearing a hair ribbon as an adult in the Year Of Our Lord 2014)

At her desk, Darcy was too distracted to do her usual work of filing and collating and stapling and all the things that a monkey could do sedated and blindfolded if it had to. The ribbon was itchy on her head and she had to keep adjusting it, since without the benefit of the wonderful modern invention of elastics, it would not stay tight to her head. After about forty-five minutes of getting no work done (not bad for her, really. Her work ethic wasn’t all that great given that she was still working as an unpaid intern) she finally got up and went over to Jane’s purse, fumbling through it in the hopes of finding a barrette or a bobby pin or something to keep the ribbon in place. It didn’t take long for her to get frustrated at the jumble of receipts and candy wrappers in the bottom of Jane’s purse and just dump the entire contents of the purse out onto the table.

It was, of course, at that point that Jane walked into the room, carrying a manila folder of papers.

“Darcy, what are you doing?”

“Looking for a goddamn bobby pin or something.”

Jane smiled. “Is the ribbon getting to you already?”

“Yes.” Darcy stepped back from the mess on the table and crossed her arms in a pout.

“That’s why I use a handkerchief.”

“Where the hell would I buy a handkerchief in the twenty-first century?”

Jane just shrugged. “I guess I just got lucky.”

“Yeah, don’t rub it in.”

“Why not put your hair in a ponytail and just tie the ribbon around that? You could wrap it around the elastic band so that it doesn’t fall out.”

“Well do you have an elastic?”

Jane pulled one off her wrist and offered it out to her. “Here.”

Darcy took it and immediately pulled the ribbon out of her hair, pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and then held out the ribbon to Jane. “Fix it for me.”

Jane laughed quietly to herself and expertly wrapped the ribbon around the base of Darcy’s ponytail and tied it into a nice bow. “There.”

Darcy sighed. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Now, can you clean this mess up? I’ve got files that won’t staple themselves.” 


	3. For My Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the tournament, and Darcy is so not prepared.

If nothing else, Sif was very prompt. At eight AM on the morning of the third day, she knocked on Darcy’s door. Darcy was still very much asleep at that time, but heard the door knocking nonetheless and dragged herself out of bed to answer it.

She didn’t even bother checking who it was before unlocking the door and pulling it open, hair in complete disarray, one leg of her pajama pants rolled up past her knee while the other one was down to her ankle, shirt hanging off one shoulder.

She blinked twice at the sight of Sif at her door in full armor, complete with sword at her hip, something she hadn’t seen in a very long time, and then stepped back. “Uh, c’mon in.”

“Thank you.” Sif stepped inside and Darcy shut the door behind her.

“So, tournament day already?”

Sif nodded. “I am all prepared but for one thing.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss Darcy square on the lips. Darcy tensed for a few seconds and then leaned into it. It was their first proper kiss, and it was quite a kiss at that. When Sif finally pulled back, Darcy’s face was flushed and she was breathing rather heavily.

“Uh. Wow.”

Sif smiled down at her (Darcy had never noticed just how tall she was before), and tucked a piece of Darcy’s hair behind her ear.  “Usually we would ask this in public, but, as you cannot attend, I must do it here. Might I carry your favor into battle today, Darcy?”

“I… Uh, yeah. Of course.” She said, having some trouble putting a proper sentence together, mind still reeling from that kiss. “I’ll go get it.”

She turned and disappeared into her bedroom, emerging a couple seconds later with the ribbon, now a bit wrinkled from being tied up all day for the past three days, but a ribbon nonetheless. “Here.” She held it out to Sif awkwardly.

Sif took Darcy’s hand in hers and kissed it tenderly before slowly, carefully taking the ribbon from her hand. “I shall wear this with honour, I swear to do you proud, my lady Darcy.”

“Uh. Thanks. I’m, um, sure you will.”

Sif smiled at her and grasped Darcy’s hand between both of hers. “Might I have another kiss, for luck?”

Darcy was blushing rather furiously at this point, but she managed a nod, and to squeak out a “not that you’ll need it,” before Sif’s lips were once again on hers.

* * *

 

It was a good twelve hours later when there was once again a knock on Darcy’s door. She’d spent the day at home, rather unable to concentrate on anything aside from the memory of Sif’s lips on her own. She’d tried doing work, surfing the internet, reading a book, and watching Netflix, but none of it really seemed to help. She couldn’t help wishing that she would be allowed to Asgard to watch the tournament (totally jealous of Jane for having had that opportunity), and so she was left with her imagination to wonder how things were going, and how Sif was doing.

So the knock was just as surprising as it had been that morning, jolting her out of her daydreams. “Shit.” She muttered to herself as she pushed herself off her couch and brushed the chip crumbs off her shirt before walking to the door (trying her best not to run). She checked who it was this time and bit back a grin when she saw Sif through the spyhole  She unlocked the door carefully and then, taking a deep breath to compose herself, she pulled it open.

“Hi.” She  greeted, trying her best to sound like she hadn’t just spent the whole day thinking about her.

Sif was a bit scraped up, but otherwise looked as flawless as ever. She offered her a rather formal bow and returned the ribbon to Darcy. Darcy reached out and took it carefully, before looking up expectantly at Sif, waiting to hear the results of the tournament.

“Thanks to your support and good wishes, I have emerged victorious in today’s tournament.” She smiled proudly.

Darcy grinned and reached out to pull Sif into a tight hug. “You did?” She laughed, “You even beat Thor?”

“He knows to be wary of my strength.”

“That’s amazing.” She laughed and looked up at Sif, still not letting her go. “You’re pretty badass, you know that?”

Sif smiled down at her. “Is that so?” Darcy nodded.

“I think you deserve a reward after all that hard work.”

Sif’s arms found their way around Darcy’s waist and she pulled her closer. “And what might that reward be?”

“Oh, I’m sure I could think of something…” She smiled up at Sif and then leaned up to kiss her gently, before pulling back.

“Is that all?”

“Only until you shut the door.”

Sif smiled and kicked the door shut, never letting go of Darcy, and then the two of them slowly made their way back into Darcy’s bedroom together. 


End file.
